Sometimes We Don't Get Stronger
by 2028
Summary: AU. Don and Megan are undercover.
1. Sometimes We Fall

Megan watched as the scene in front of her dissolved. Their target stood in front of them, unaware of the two FBI agents calculating the end of his operation. The talk of the drug trade continued, with Megan and Don quietly absorbing the details, Megan aware Don was already picturing the raid in his head.

They were undercover as couple, an excuse that allowed them to spend time together outside the trade room, passing information and planning.

The talk continued for another few minutes before a man approached the boss and whispered in his ear. The boss held a neutral expression for only a second before he shot a look in Don's direction. At that glance, Megan felt her heart fell. That glance could mean any number of things, but most likely that their cover was blown and the next couple minutes would end with bullets in their heads. After having imagined the worst case scenario, Megan was surprised when the boss addressed Don by his cover name. Watching Don hide his surprise and seeing the familiar twitch of his jaw as he worked to maintain his cover, both settled Megan's nerves and threw her investigative mind into high gear.

Still watching the movement of his face, Megan saw the exact moment Don's cover broke and his fear shone brightly on his face. It was a second before a wave of pain across his face and two seconds before his eyes dropped closed and he fell, hitting his knees before he collapsed onto his side.

Every muscle in her body wanted to scream his name, but a small part of her mind knew she would follow him if she broke cover and she rushed to his side without uttering a word.

As his girlfriend, she was permitted to pull him into her lap as blood ran down his chest and into her clothes.

The warmth of it shocked her and simultaneously disgusted her. Never in her life did Megan want to be drenched in this much blood, but here she sat, watched by half dozen criminals as her cover boyfriend bled out.

But really he was so much more that than and she knew that only law enforcement could understand her sentiment. Guilt rushed through her even though Don's eyes held no blame. She felt vulnerable, in a way she had not felt since she was assigned as Don's permanent partner. She ached inside for the loss of someone understood and responded to her every move, the jerk of her hand and tilt of her head. She wanted someone who had her back. Megan was an agent; she lived in fear and almost anticipation of being killed, but the deep fear had vanished. Don had her six, hell he had the whole dozen. Being his partner was to be treasured and protected and understood. The years of emotions overwhelmed her as she held in this man in her arms, one hand applying pressure to his wound, one hand holding his head so she could see his eyes. His eyes; they sent another wave of tears through her eyes and another wave of pain through her chest. They reflected fear and panic. She wanted so badly to erase that unsettling fear from his eyes, but she knew, in her rational mind, that he was going to die here. This incredible selflessly person was going to die under the eyes of criminals. He was not even to be granted the honor of dying under his own name, as himself; her partner, an invaluable person, was going to die as a criminal, sacrificing every bit of his life and even the honor of his death to his country and to achieving this justice.

Through her tears, Megan caught Don's lips moving but the words were quiet, just for her. Megan could only think of Don wanted to say, what he wanted his parting message to be, but watching him struggle proved more than Megan could handle at the moment. So she talked him into a silence and let go of his chest to hold his hand. A flash of pain lit in his eyes, but she felt his cooling fingers fumble in hers, so Megan tried not to feel to guilty; that she was giving up, that she was not fighting, that she was passively playing a role in his death. But she kept staring at Don, and his eyes would not let her carry the guilt. For someone so close to being gone, he looked so solid, so present and Megan smiled down at him. Only when he saw her starting to recover, did the stoic look vanish from his eyes and did he allow the despair to crept. Megan understood what was happening; Don was passing the torch. He was trusting her to finish the case, to led his team, to tell his family, to catch the killer, to let all the victims, which now included him, have justice. Megan felt a huge weight of responsibility settle on her and that burden would never cease. But she shoved her emotions back; it was no longer about her. For weeks after this it would be about her and their team. But this was Don's last moment, his last chance to be seen, to be understood. And in this final moment, his flawlessly trust floored her and she memorized the emotion in his eyes, touched he let her see them.

But even Don could not hold on for forever and slowly the light faded and Megan ground her teeth together, trapping her agony inside and muttering nonsense under her breath, holding his hand and listening to his breath force itself out of his body. At the last second, she put her head on his chest, in a show of intimacy one might expect from a couple. The feeling of Don's chest sinking and not rising almost stalled her own.

The world grayed out for a minute after that, and Megan almost can't breathe through the havoc in her chest. Suddenly, the world seemed too big, dangerous and unforgiving. Her place in it seemed uncertain and more than anything Megan wanted Don back.

Before a second wave of awareness could hit her and Megan folded completely, she moved to untangled his hand from hers. Sliding out from under his body, Megan barely noticed the blood that now covered most of her body. Struggling to her feet, her resolve started to return, only to take another hit when Don remained so still on the ground. But Don had given her a mission and he had trusted her with a responsibility; she could not bear to let him down again, so she forced herself to turn away from her partner for the last time and met the eyes of the man who had killed him.


	2. Sometimes We Run

Maybe the drug dealers did not expect the steel in her eyes, or maybe they had just not noticed it before, but they all looked a little shocked when she pulled herself to her feet, forcing her hands to stop shaking.

Megan wanted to yell and demand answers, but if she opened her mouth, it would only be to cry so she pointedly glared at the boss and held his gaze for an endlessly moment until he relented.

"He was ratting us out".

Megan knew for a fact that 'Casey' was not ratting anyone out, but she only knew that because she was an FBI agent so she neglected to mention it. She did take a shaky breath and shove the rest of her emotions back.

"So you killed him". She had not even said his name but the emotions were threatening to overwhelm her.

The boss shrugged and rage lit a fire in Megan, hot enough to burn her sadness and blur her vision red this time. It burned through her body. If only. If only these men understand how valuable and how dedicated Don had been; if only she could arrest them for murder and throw them all in prison. His casual dismissal of one of her closest and most trusted friends fueled an unbelievably amount of anger, so much so that Megan was nervous to address it.

Stepping forward, Megan walked out of the room, not letting her shoulders fall even as she exited the door in case they were watching. Leaving Don with them felt wrong beyond words, but Megan knew from the files that girlfriends in this gang were not allowed to bury their boyfriends and getting herself killed over the issue would not bring Don back.

Despite her hurry to rid herself of the presence of the drug dealers, Megan was not sure where to go. The raid was not until tomorrow night and their cover assignment was supposed to last until then. Due to the group's careful natural, Don and Megan had gone in without a means to contact their team to avoid suspicion. Now that Megan had space to think, she forced herself to remain in character. If she broke down now, she would not be able to pull herself back together in time and she had to finish this case.

Still walking towards the quarters she and Don had been occupying, Megan thought over her options. The boss could definitely go under for murder but that would not help with the rest of them. Even worse, the drugs would remain on the market and the FBI would not be able to shut down their base of operations. All the remaining members would simply fight to fill the power vacuum and the gang would move on to keep producing and killing whoever got in their way. Beyond that, there were other under covers from the LAPD in this operation, who had been under a lot longer than her and Don, who needed to solve this case and head home.

Finding the room she and Don had generously been granted, Megan decided to proceed according to plan. She did not even have scheduled contact time with the FBI and technically the plan had not changed. Informing their team and grieving would have to wait.


	3. Sometimes We Hide

This chapter alternates perspectives. The part above the second line is all David and Colby's point of view. After the second line, it switches every line between David/Colby and Megan, starting with Megan.

* * *

David ducked behind a wall as the gang members fired back at him, blatantly resisting arrest. He and Colby were part of the raid team along with the LAPD. Risking sticking his head around the edge of the building, David saw a cop took down the man shooting at him and throw him in handcuffs. All around him, other members started backing down and David knew they had just taken down the boss of this operation. David joined Colby in arresting the uninjured men and leading them to the vans waiting specifically for their arrival.

"Where are Megan and Don?" Colby asked David after they were out of earshot of the arrestees.

"Don't know. I have not seen either of them, but there are a lot of people here".

"Well, looks like LAPD is handling suspects, so let's go look".

David and Colby preceded to wander away from the center of the action.

* * *

Megan sat in her room and actively avoided the raid.

"You know, we should check wherever they are staying. Megan would not be involved the raid because she is undercover".

Staring down at her hands, Megan logically knew that she had cleaned them, but she felt disgusted, like she was still covered in blood.

"This place is huge. Where would they put rooms?"

Megan knew at some point the raid would be finished and she should join David and Colby but she dreaded telling them, so she did not move.

"Here. These are numbered. Probably apartments".

Telling David and Colby would make it real, as if Megan needed more proof of that.

"Good guess. These are rooms. Check all of them. Go left, I'll go right".

Megan jerked when she heard David and Colby talking at the end of the hall and she realized they would probably worry if she did not show up soon.

David pushed open second room on the right and saw Megan sitting at the end of a bed, staring at him. Her posture and eyes stopped him from immediately calling Colby and he sat next to her.

Relief and anxiety crashed inside Megan at regular intervals as David sat down.

"You okay?'

Megan heard worry in his voice.

When Megan did not answer him, David stood up again and walked down the hall to Colby; "Something's wrong". Colby followed him.

Telling them would yang the world out from under them; she envied their ignorance, but watching David bring Colby back, she knew she could not spare them.

Colby saw the reason for David's concern the second he set eyes on Megan.

Megan could feel their concern.

"What happened? Where's Don?" When Megan flinched at the question, Colby did not want an answer.

Awareness started to creep into their faces when she flinched.

"Megan" David said gently, sitting next to her again. "Tell us".

She meet their eyes.

"Megan'.

"I'm sorry" she managed, tears gathering.

"No, Megan" David felt panic building within him.

The tears broke down her face.

Colby put his arm over Megan's shoulders and when she curled into him, Colby's panic matched David's.

Megan knew they had probably figured it out, but suddenly she had to say the words.

Colby meet David's eyes, seeing tears there too.

"The boss" Megan started, her voice cracking. She cleared her throat. "The boss killed him".

Tears make tracks down David and Colby's faces now too.

"I" Megan started again, wanting to share the burden of watching Don die, but at the same time wanting to spare her team, her friends.

When LAPD found them thirty minutes later to inform them about discovering Don's body, it was clear they already knew.


	4. Sometimes We Watch

Don watched. He watched as David and Colby executed the raid. He watched with pride as they arrested criminals and ushered civilians from harm's way. He watched with relief as the shooting stopped and the last of the men were secured. He watched with anticipation as they glanced around for him and Megan. He watched as David and Colby wandered the compound, still searching for both of their missing companions. He watched with sympathy as David found Megan. He watched as David found his partner so they could face the situation together. He watched with baited breath as David again found a seat next to Megan and Colby quietly asked where he was. He watched with an aching heart as his partner flinched at the question and finally let tears gather in her eyes. He watched with pain as his observational employees, his loyal friends, his family deduced what had happened the day before. He watched with a fading glance as David and Colby released tears, five minutes ago they had not known they needed. He watched until the last possible second.


	5. Sometimes We Find

Detective Gary Walker locked up the last of his criminals and set about processing the property. Two of his under covers had reported in with the rest of his team from the raid and the last one had been taken to the hospital with a winged arm. Detective Walker ordered teams to gather evidence from the firefight, he ordered a specialized unit out to the machinery to inventory and dismantle. With a third team, he cleared the rest of the property, encountering drug money, the drugs, weapons, scared wives and girlfriends of the men they had just arrested. He directed the civilians and some of his team back to the cars for transport to the station. Detective Walked thought he had cleared the whole property when he spotted a barn a few hundred feet away. _Clear everything_ he thought, walking over, his team following. There were recent foot prints visible on the dusty walkway and Detective Walked pulled his gun more securely in front of him, leading with his foot as he shoved the door open. Voices from his team echoed across the apparently empty space and when they quieted, he dropped his gun and focused. Something set his nerves on edge and a second glance around the room confirmed his fears. Detective Walker stared for second, at the figure on the ground, hating that he recognized that hair. Dropping down in front of the body, still surrounded by blood, Gary's stomach turned at the first glance. Don Eppes' face was frozen in death, a motionless stare hard to look at on strangers, but impossible to look at on a friend. His team read his emotion and dropped their guns, some coming to stand behind him, some calling for an ambulance and one correcting that statement to a call for the ME. Forcing himself to his feet, thoughts of Eppes' team crossed his mind and pain rippled through him. He hoped that none of them needed to see this, but judging by the blood patterns, Megan had been present at some point before the blood dried.

"Where is his team?"


	6. Sometimes We Lead

This chapter also alternates perspectives between Megan/Colby/David and Detective Walker, starting with David.

* * *

David rubbed a hand across his face as the door creaked open and watched Detective Walker's face took in their expressions.

Gary found Don's team sitting together and together in tears.

Colby vaguely thought that he should pull himself together now, but his tears felt acceptable when Gary sat down next to them and graced them with a sympathetic glance.

The usual platitudes caught in his throat and he knew they would not be appreciated.

The four of them sat for a while longer. Megan finally uncurled from Colby and scrubbed her face. David and Colby took their cues from her.

"His family?" Detective Walker asked in a low voice.

"Let us". Megan replied roughly, starting forward, feeling David and Colby follow and feeling the burden from yesterday fall heavily on her shoulders. She lead her team, vowing to fulfill of the last thing her partner had asked of her.


End file.
